I, just like everybody else with and invisible illness, am not in the habit of complaining out loud about the aches and pains, about the fatigue, about the anxiety, frustration and even anger that is the result of the myriad of symptoms of most invisible illnesses.
Like everybody else, I putter through life by virtue of sheer willpower and stubbornness.
Most often than not, I refuse to acknowledge the issues.
Most often than not I have a smile and a kind word for everyone.
As you, my wonderful blogging community know, every once in a while, I break down and just want to say fuck all. It’s like having a coca-cola. I don’t like soft drinks. I really don’t. But about once a year, I get a craving for a coke with lots of ice. The bottled kind, not the watered-down fountain one. Preferably with lots of popcorn or pizza.
So today is that day.
Not for the coke-craving thingy.
For the fuck all thingy.
The trigger? Oh, something really stupid. I need to go to a store that is far away in the land of suburbs and outlet malls. Getting there by bus is a hassle. Transferring buses and a fair bit of walking.
Really not a big deal in the big scheme of things. But factor in knees and hips pain when walking and anxiety and the picture gets dark.
Then I get thinking how annoying and frustrating it is that when I am in Lansing, I have access to a car but not to my money while when I am in Ottawa, I have access to money but not a car.
Once the scumbag brain goes down that path, there’s no stopping it.
To top it all, even my teeth and gums hurt today.
I’ll go away, as you all know. In a few hours or tomorrow at the latest, I’ll be my usual bubbly self again.
But right now, I am saying HASA DIGA EEBOWAI
And that’s that.
Here’s a giraffe on top of a building f. For no reason at all
Well, here it is:
To quote The Fiancé (a.k.a. Geek Boy or The Other Half of Geek²):
Claudia and I are starting a new venture, probing our creative sides and calling it Geek Squared Art. It being Claudia, of course we have a web page AND a facebook page Geek Squared Art). We’re in the early stages of things, so you can expect much more in the coming weeks. Thanks for popping over and liking the page – hint, hint..
We also have a Twitter account: @Geek2Art (pronounced Geek-squared-Art* and not Geek-two-Art).
So, yeah. We’re a small, local, family-operated business now. It doesn’t get any more grassroots than that. How hipster-ish of us. However, I don’t think Geek Boy is losing 40 lbs and growing a beard any time soon. Geek Girl was donning scarves & hats way before the Hipster movement so I don’t know if that counts… um, yeah… The Fiancé is not the only UnFocused geek here.
Okay. Geek² Art (or Geek Squared Art, whichever you prefer). We will be selling arts & crafts handmade by yours truly and photographs taken by The UnFocused Fiancé.
We expect to sell LOTS of those so we can get on with our dream of opening a Cat Sanctuary.
Now, if you please, hop over to the Geek² Art website, Facebook page, or Twitter feed. Subscribe, like or follow us if you feel so inclined. But most importantly, get your wallets ready because we’ll be opening our Etsy shop pretty soon.
About the getting your wallets ready part. Not about the Etsy shop part. But you know, X-mas season is just around the corner….
* Silly Twitter won’t allow the use of superscripts
Fear. Excitement. Sadness. A whirlwind of emotions. A lump on my throat and a weight in my stomach.
But it is decided.
I am leaving Ottawa.
Yes. After 13 years, I am moving -again, to a city where I don’t know anyone. Or just one person, rather.
Oh, I will be still in Canada. I know one can never say never but things would have to be truly desperate for me to leave the country I so love. Instead, I will be as close as I can be to the fiancé without actually moving to the States.
Kitties and I will embark in a whole new adventure. Wish us luck cause come November 30th, we’ll be saying goodbye to our beloved Ottawa.
All I can say is that I do hope and cross fingers that one day in a not too far future, we can all go back, fiancé-turned-husband included.
Actually, I was never in possession of any marbles. I was born marbleless.
However, my friends, I consider that an asset. As other – very wise people, have pointed out:
“I am not eccentric. It’s just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of catfish.”
― Edith Sitwell
And holy cow, can I ever be unpopular sometimes. Then, there’s this one:
Of course eccentrics are happy, they’re loony toons. They don’t know they aren’t supposed to be anything but joyous.
JAN HORNUNG, This Is the Truth, as Far as I Know: I Could Be Wrong
That’s why I am a bundle of giggles most of the time. Unless I am a bundle of tears. In that case, I am not joyous. But then… oh, look! washi tape!!!! and I am back to being a bundle of giggles and squeeeeeeees again.
The Geeks’ Flat is witnessing a lot of nesting efforts lately. One the the areas with the fastest growing rate is my Art(s) [& Crafts] Nook. It started as a Drawing Nook, with sketch pads, drawing markers, colour pencils, sketch pencils, a couple of Really Useful boxes and an original TJ Lubrano*.Continue reading
Yesterday, I got a very awesome surprise gift from my very awesome fiance that made me super happy. Here it is, in all its glory:
You may wonder why a pair of scissors is such a big deal for me. But when you’ve spent all of your leftie life cutting things with right-handed scissors, you would know. I just wanted to sit and cry, so happy I was! What a thing. You righties have no idea how aggravating it is for us lefties to live in a right-handed world Continue reading
Because it’s Sunday. And I’m silly. And you know… I have too much time on my hands.
I was looking at my phone (yes, that is the first thing I do when I wake up) trying to find the fabled new features of iOS8 and came across this app I had downloaded because Nathan Filion. aLike is the name and I had forgotten I had it. Naturally, I had to play with it.
I took the first picture and this is what I got:
Sid and I almost fell off the bed, so hard we were laughing. So much fun I just had to keep going.
Hmmm, I wonder what will I get if I let my hair down… Continue reading
I feel absolutely dead inside.
There is no sunshine, no solace. There’s only the freezing cold, dark, numbness of the desert of my soul.
Oh, the mask is on today (the mask is always required). Very rarely I dare not to wear it because I get burned when I don’t.
Even in the one place where I thought I didn’t have to wear it, I still do.
You’ll see me smile today. You’ll see me being civil and polite. Isn’t that what society is all about? That we are civil and polite to each other while committing the most horrible crimes?
“I can’t take the evil of this world anymore”. That’s what I said yesterday. And yet, here I am, still alive today. How can I still be alive if my heart is broken in a million frozen little pieces?
Right. Because I am condemned to grow a heart every night, so it can be broken again every day. The gods are mean and bloodthirsty and that is the penalty for being born with one.
Be the change you want to see, they say.
Well, I am that change. But day after day I get crushed. What kind of change is that?
Sadness and anger. Despair and murderous thoughts. An unholy desire to do to people what they have done to other living things.
Cold Red fury.
There is no hope for the human race and there is no hope for me either, because I hate.
Hell and damnation.
That’s where I am going.
Because in my mind, each one of the little bastards is dying a very slow and painful death, while being fed all the suffering the collective human hive has inflicted on the world for countless centuries.