There’s this Spanish song called “Donde Brilla el Sol” (Where the Sun Shines). It was a favourite of my mother’s. She used to sing it all the time. It goes like this:
No quiero flores cuando muera
Las quiero ahora en mi jardín
No quiero amores con cualquiera
Cualquiera no me hace felizComo el girasol busco mi lugar
Donde brilla el sol
Tengo el corazón a disposición
Para un gran amor
Siempre digo si
La palabra no, nunca me gustó
Como el ave soy canto mi canción
Sin una razónNo quiero herencias venideras
Ni un gran futuro por vivir
Quiero sentir la primavera
Que no se queda mucho aqui
Here’s my translation:
I don’t want flowers when I die
I want them now in my garden
I don’t want to love just anyone
Just about anyone doesn’t make me happyLike the sunflower, I look for my place
where the sun shines
My heart is available
for a great love
I always say yes
I never liked the word no
I’m like a bird singing my song
for no reasonI’m not waiting for an inheritance to come
nor I long for a grand future
I just wanna feel the spring
since it doesn’t stay very long
My mother used to tell me all the time that she didn’t want flowers at her funeral -or her grave, for that matter. She would say to me: “I want them now, when I can enjoy their pretty colours and their sweet scent”.
As it happens, I’m very much like my mother. I also don’t want flowers when I die. I want them now in my garden. I wanna enjoy them now, when I can. And that goes for all the other stuff too. Natalia and I were watching an episode of Two and a Half Men today. The one were Charlie’s best friend dies while drinking and smoking cigars at Charlie’s place. Then Charlie starts thinking he’s gonna die as well because he leads the same kind of unhealthy life his pal did. He tries to make amends and starts buying people gifts. While at his mother’s place he mentions he needs to go arrange the funeral. The mother tells him not to be cheap and get his pal an expensive coffin. Sure, it’s intended to be a joke. But sadly, more people than you’d think, believe that if you love someone, you have to spend a lot of money on a casket and a fancy funeral. I also think it is disgusting that funerals have become so expensive. Why does a grieving family has to also be burdened with such a financial blow? Why thousands of dollars must be spent so their loved ones can be buried?
I say, the hell with that. What”s the point? I’m dead. I’m not gonna enjoy anything you buy me. In fact, I want the cheapest casket possible. That’s why I want to be cremated as well. That way there won’t be a grave people would be tempted to bring flowers to. That money can go towards providing food and education for a third world child. Or to support your local animal shelter. Or plant a bunch of trees.
So, I want my flowers now.
And it’s not just me. Everybody deserves flowers when they’re alive. FYI, that doesn’t mean you have to run to the nearest flower store and buy the most expensive bouquet you can find. It’s not about money. It’s about letting people know that we care about them.
That’s why I don’t want people saying how much they loved me, or how much they miss me when I’m gone either. Tell me now that I am alive, when I can actually hear it, when I can tell you that I love you back. It’ll make me happy and it’ll make YOU happy. Nothing more rewarding than telling your loved ones that you love them. Just go tell them and rejoice in their smiles.
Also tell them now much you appreciate they being in your live and all the little things they do for you. Those are the flowers that will brighten anyone’s day.
And every now and then, for no reason, buy them some flowers too! :)
What a great post. You make an excellent point regarding showering dead people with expensive caskets and flowers. They aren’t going to appreciate them. Funerals are for those of us left behind, not the deceased. My mother died four years ago tomorrow and I am still coming to terms with it. It’s much harder to mourn when the person abused you. Luckily, I’m getting there.
I’m sorry you lost your mom at such a young age.
Thank you.
I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I can relate to that in a way. It took me years to come to terms with my father’s death. Glad to hear you are getting there. These wounds take time to heal
Thanks, they sure do.
Amen, sister.