Voice Found

I’ve been hiding.  In my youth I hid behind perfectionism and dance.   As I entered my teens, I hid behind sexual promiscuity, drugs, alcohol and fashion.  My twenties saw me hiding behind cocaine, expensive clothing and a certain ‘privileged’ lifestyle.  Mental illness provided me with pills.   Pills helped me hide from life.

In later years, I stopped using drugs and alcohol and instead I hid behind my work, my accomplishments, my sobriety and my children.

What was I hiding from?  I was hiding from the truth.  The pain.  The horrible shame.  I was hiding from the fact that I was sexually abused as a child.  I was ‘coping’.

I thought it would be okay to live a half of a life …that was until I decided one day that I did not want to live at all and so I sought help.  I finally told a therapist about the sexual…

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3 thoughts on “Hiding

  1. Fred says:

    There needs to be more “I’m down but not out” proclamations. Hopefully that post helps others do that.

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