Me? I’m 30

Yesterday, I partook of an interesting conversation on FB sparked by Jen (of Sips of Jen and Tonic)’s status [who by the way does not look 30 at all]:

Just had a woman insult my intelligence by trying to convince me she was 10 years younger than she is. As a fellow woman, I can spot the makeup, hair dye, pushup bra (or fake boobs) and botox one has used to “conceal” her age faster than she can say, “I just celebrated my 30th birthday last week!” You know who looks 30? Me. Know why? BECAUSE I AM 30.

It made me ponder on a few things.

One of the many things we agreed on was that ” lying about our age makes it seem like there’s something wrong with aging. Like it’s some big taboo secret. It’s better to be a good looking 50 than a 40-something trying to be 20-something.”

Then someone else said this: “I lived 4 decades and survived some interesting times and stories to tell. Aging rocks!!”

While I agree with the sentiment of surviving things and having stories to tell (boy, DO I HAVE stories to tell) I absolutely, positively and strongly disagree with the “aging rocks” part.

And here’s why.

I mentioned before that I am exactly where I want to be. Furthermore, I HEART the wisdom I have acquired with age. I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world. I also HEART the person I have become.

The raging beast that lived inside me in my teens and 20’s is no more. Gone away, never to be seen again. I’m SSG, The Raging Beast Slayer.

A very happy SSG with LMC [that’s Le Magnificent Clown, in case you were wondering]. See that smile? YEAH

The other beast – the depression one, still lives with me, dormant. I can hear it snoring every now and then. That one can’t be slayed when it’s in your genes. But that’s OK. Throughout the years, I have learned how to fight it. We might have to wrestle every now and then but I KNOW that in the end I’ll win every single battle and it’ll have to retreat, tail between its legs back to its cave. It may not be pretty while we’re battling -no battlefield is, but victory shall be mine every time.

HOWEVER

I still think aging sucks but only because with age, all my health problems have been slowly but surely getting much worse. No question about it.

I do notice the little and not so little differences. The progressive malfunctioning of the various systems. The stiffness of joints that were well-oiled before. And it’s only going to get worse. The 50’s will come and I’ll have to deal with menopause (or if were  a guy, with prostate enlargement) and so many other health issues like hypertension, heart disease, osteoporosis etc. Trust me, as a doctor, I know. Aging does not rock, sadly.

Don’t get me wrong, the irony is not lost on me. Only in one, very specific sense, aging does rock. That’s the part where I am happy with the person I’ve become. But I do hate what aging is doing to my body.

SO!

In my ideal world, I’d have the wisdom of my wonderful [almost] 44 year old self but in a 20 year old body. Ah, the things I could do!

But since that can’t be done. I’m quite happy to be what I am.

Lying about my age when I can have people comment on how I absolutely do not look 44? PFFFFFFT

What would be the fun in that?

20120619-160843.jpg

Besides, It’d be impossible to lie about my age when my daughter looks like this…

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17 thoughts on “Me? I’m 30

    • SummerSolsticeGirl says:

      Thank you! It is very sweet of you.

      Well, after trying all the drugs in the book, I finally found one that works for me. I am also incredibly lucky to have found a psychotherapist who refuses to give up on me. That is essential, in my opinion. And believe it or not, blogging has helped a great deal. It offered me a support network I didn’t know it existed. Being able to talk to other people who also deal with mental illness makes me feel more human. Like I’m not a freak, if you will.

      Other than that, and I think this is the side effect of so many years of good therapy (as opposed to the so many other years of bad therapy I also had), a better self-knowledge. And tons of good luck as evidenced by the good friends I have IRL and of course, my family.

      Best of luck in your journey!!!

  1. Brother Jon says:

    This was great. I turned 30 this year myself. I like being 30, not so sure about “all of a sudden need to lay down every day at 3pm” thing. I’m guessing everything will be okay though.

  2. Jen and Tonic says:

    You and your daughter look so much alike. Do people often ask you if you’re sisters?

    I agree with the commenter above who said that hitting 30 suddenly meant needing a nap. Things have happened in the last year that I didn’t anticipate happening to me.

    “…That’s the part where I am happy with the person I’ve become.” You should be!

    • SummerSolsticeGirl says:

      he he we get that all the time. New students are always asking us if we’re related. They are shocked when we tell then that indeed we are but not in the way they think. Some of them even think we are just pulling their chain with the mother/daughter thing LOL

  3. Stacie Chadwick says:

    SSG,

    You are as gorgeous as your gorgeous little girl and wise on top of it all. Looking forward to hearing about your birthday…someone let me know that it’s coming up!

    xoxo
    GG

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