I suppose I should write an update.
24 hours later and one attemp by WordPress to sabotage this post, here I am.
Funny, I finished it, hit published and WP deleted the whole thing. Didn’t even save it as a draft.
My son is gone to Toronto.
He showed up at my door yesterday afternoon after no hearing a word from him since he left in anger on Sunday. We knew he was OK cause he was posting on Facebook but he never called us or wrote to us.
Anyway, he came with the suitcase and backpack and for a little moment, I was happy cause I thought he was coming to stay for the remainder of the trip. But that was not the case.
He came in and he asked me to use my laptop so he could find a ride to Toronto. We made a couple of phone calls and we secured his ride.
After that, we talked for a while. He said he has talked to a psychologist on Monday and that it had helped. He told me that the only person that understands him and cares about him is his girlfriend.
He said some not so nice things about his sister. I refuted this and I think I was able to get my point across. Or maybe not. Don’t think I’ll ever know.
It is very unlikely I’ll see him again any time soon. I even mentioned this to him.
He said that he’s never coming back to Canada unless he comes with his girlfriend. He then proceeded to suggest I should go visit him in Colombia. I told him that is very unlikely to happen. I told him that the same things that give him nightmares give me nightmares as well. That I will never go back. It took me 8 years to muster the courage to go there for a visit and it almost killed me. It led me to a nervous breakdown and I spent the next 5 months in severe depression.
No, I will never go back there.
There’s no place in the world where my son and I can be together.
We dropped the conversation because he was getting to upset. Nonetheless, I am grateful I got to see him one last time before he left.
Then it was time for him to go. He gave me an awkward hug, a little peck on the cheek and asked me to tell his sister he’ll call her when he’s in a better mental state.
Off to Toronto he went. He flies back to Colombia on July 20th.
And then, who knows what will happen to him. At least he has his girlfriend, I guess.
I have failed my son.