I had a nice little break.
It felt good.
But now, it’s back to the daily grind.
The anxiety bouts that started about a year ago are now reaching alarming levels.
I recently wrote a post on Canvas about it: Is this what getting better mean?
Unfortunately, I am facing a few challenges right now. Both life and work related.
The old monster is awake and threatening to break free. My last two therapy sessions were rather painful and I am really not looking forward to the next one.
There are some good news. Like my trip to California in two weeks. My daughter and her boyfriend are going to a wedding in Sacramento and it just so happened that they got hired to be part of a commercial being shot that week in San Francisco. So, as a mother’s day present, she’s bringing me with her! We’re spending the week in San Francisco and the weekend in Sacramento, where I’ll get to go to the famous Sacramento Music Festival.
I am very much looking forward to it. I keep reminding myself of this. I keep telling myself it’s going to be great. San Francisco is in my Bucket List and I still can’t believe I’m going.
But I feel myself losing my footing. Slowly slipping.
The sadness. The pain in my stomach.
The darkness that lurks just around the corner.
The bad dreams.
I haven’t lost hope just yet.
But I am terrified.