The Holiday Season that wasn’t

Heartbreak

Anger

Sadness

Bitterness

Loneliness

Not a lot of Holiday spirits here, as you can see.

This holiday season easily takes the prize of the second worst Christmas ever. By like a mile.

Transplanted to a new city. Alone. Far, far away from my children. Missing Satchie.

No decorations, no yule tree, no joy, no singing, no dancing, no presents.

There’s always a first time for everything, they say. And this is the first x-mas there wasn’t any presents. In my 13 years in Canada, I’ve gotten used to the no singing, no dancing part. But there was always some decorations, some cheer, a tree, some traditional food and some presents with little monetary value but highly priced in love.

I know it is not about fancy gifts. It has never been about the money. But one of the things that give me joy is getting the people I love a present that will bring a smile to their faces. I truly enjoy shopping for presents for them. I didn’t get to do any holiday shopping, for various reasons. 1. I’ve got no family in this continent. 2. After paying first and last month rent for the place I am taking possession of next week, I was left with very little money. 3. Even if I had money, there’s that little issue of anxiety getting in the way of me going out to the ONE mall in this city.

In theory, the shopping should have been very easy since I only had to shop for the fiance (the gifts for the Sidlets were made a long time ago, when I was still in Lansingtown. Besides, I don’t think I’ll get to see them any time soon and not for a long time). But the lack of money and the anxiety of getting on a bus in a city I am not familiar with, got the best of me.

Whatever.

Actually, I lied. I did manage with the help of the fiance, to get Jay a last minute catnip fish and a can of wet food. He was very happy with bothCatnip fish

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7 thoughts on “The Holiday Season that wasn’t

  1. savemefrombpd says:

    Sorry to hear about your quiet and lonely Xmas. I do hope that your next one will be tons better than this one was!

    Take care xx

  2. Laura P. Schulman, MD, MA says:

    Sorry your Winter Holiday was a drag…mine too…..Hanukkah just didn’t do it for me this year, partially because of my less-than-desirable environment, partly because I had the flu…oh well, there’s next year, and you’ll be with Sid next year, won’t you? Maybe that will make up for this year’s dud. Sending love and singing and dancing–Laura

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