Schrödinger’s Life

I can’t grasp Life.

It eludes me.

It taunts me.

It laughs at me, as it playfully prances around a the corner, not too fast that I lose track of it but not slow enough that I can catch up either.

Life can be so beautiful you feel your chest it’s going to explode, incapable of taking in so much beauty. All you can do is sit there and let the tears flow so you don’t explode.

Conversely, Life can be so heartbreaking you feel your chest if going to implode, incapable of taking in so much grief. All you can do is sit there, wishing you could cry but thankfully unable to do so, lest you implode.

It is a mercy that most days lie in between. And yet, for someone like me, a day can be – mostly is – full of uplifting hikes and stomach-turning falls.

A break in the news, a phone call, a letter.

Echoes of sadness and pain from all the corners of the world.

Today, I was rejoicing on the beauty of this day and the happiness in my life.

Naturally, I turned to Facebook to give witness of this when I learned a few bits of unsettling news.

Status

Also, a dear friend’s father passed yesterday, a short battle with cancer. A great loss for sure, but one that came after a life well lived. There is some comfort in that of which my friend is well aware of. But the reality of the loss is not less daunting because of it.

The day is still gorgeous. The birds are still singing in my yard and the kitties are out and about busying themselves with with the tasks of the day, which are mostly about being cute. The flowers are regaling me with their beautiful colours.

Oh Life! You taunt me.

Appreciating you despite the sorrows you bring is at times an insurmountable task.

The learning continues as there is no shortage of lessons.

Because Life is simultaneously both beautiful and terrifying.

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6 thoughts on “Schrödinger’s Life

  1. Laura P. Schulman, MD, MA says:

    Oh, I’m sorry Colombia is back in turmoil. Oy. It’s good that you can see beauty in all sorts of places. I saw some Canada geese today, mommies and daddies proud with their little fuzzy goslings trooping along between them…so sweet! I would post a picture for you if I knew how.

  2. Sid Dunnebacke says:

    This, I think, is part of the essence of you. You can feel beauty and sadness more keenly than can the rest of us. You’ll say be glad I’m not, but I do wish I were more like you in that regard. I’m not so far, but I do have much to learn.

    Just hold me during the beautiful and during the sad, is all I ask.

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