Freaking Out

Holy cow.

Holy cow.

I truly fucked up this time.

I just found this in a pocket of my bag:

And then this: 
So I missed not one, not two, but THREE damn appointments this week.

Monday with the psychiatrist for the hospital stay follow up.

Tuesday with my case worker at CMHA for follow up with the psychiatrist follow up.

Wednesday with the new counsellor at the Community Health Centre.

Big sigh.

How can they help me if I don’t show up to my appointments?

I don’t even know how to go about fixing this mess.

Today is Sunday and I hadn’t even been able to pick up the phone to call my counsellor. Gaaaaaaaaah why did Robyn have to go away. Her and I always communicated by email. That was so nice.

But now I have to make three phone calls. THREE.

And how the hell do you explain you blanked out for all of them, anyway?

I mean, who is going to believe that? Seriously?

Oy, the tightening of the stomach muscles.

It feels like I swallowed that anvil Wile E. Coyote meant for The Road Runner. You know what I’m saying?

I need help, alright.

What a mess. What a mess.
God. The weight in my stomach.

What am I going to do?

6 thoughts on “Freaking Out

  1. Sid Dunnebacke says:

    You COULD tell me as soon as you make an appointment when it is, and I can try to wake you in time – call you, text you, IM you, whichever makes more noise. I want to help you.

    Sorry about all the missed appointments, though. I know how it feels.

  2. Animalcouriers says:

    Oh dear, as Sid says, we’ll all help to try to remind you but you would have to let us know. How about posting or emailing when you come out of an appointment? Would really love to help in any way. Wouldn’t matter where we were either.

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