Holy 🐄

I just wrote this blurb as a way of introducing myself to a new Facebook group. Which group matters not. 

But Holy Cow, it all sounds so preposterous when put together.

I mean, would you not think it would be impossible for any one individual to be so fucked up? 

So I laughed. Because it is ludicrous. And now I’m sharing it here so you can laugh with me too.

1. I have no filters. No, seriously. I have lost friendships over this. So please let me know if/when I cross the line. Any line. I have a hard time understanding and recognising lines.

 

2. Just a little bit of a background.
Things/illnesses I deal with: 
Chronic pain since age 11. Current diagnosis, fibro. 
Mental illness. PTSD and all that follows. Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, emotional lability, etc.
Progressive neurological deterioration of unknown origin. MS ruled out. No working diagnosis at the moment.
ADHD & Giftedness. Never been diagnosed with Autism, but my educated guess given my medical background is that I am in the spectrum even if highly functional.
POTS. Hypothyroidism. Dysfunctional contraregulatory hormone response. Basically, my whole hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis is broken.
Dysgraphia made worse by a TIA four years ago. Especially aggravating when taking math tests. UGH
Woman of Colour (black and native) who is light enough to almost pass as white. You’d think that would not represent a problem. But it is aggravating that [racist] people treat me nice while they are the way they are to my brothers and sisters. I carry much anger inside. Sometimes I think I’m going to spontaneously combust, so fierce it roars.
3. I have never learned how to be succinct. Don’t know how to be concise.
4. Apparently I don’t know how to count either.

There you have it.

Isn’t it hilarious in its preposterousness? 

PS: posting from phone so formating will be wonky. Sorry you have to deal with it

Such an SSG thing to do

It was about mid-January when I realized Valentine’s Day was coming up.

I set up to make some valentines card to sell. Got my computer and designed something close to 20 cards. I was on a roll. I spent about a week designing them and I have to say I was very happy with the results.

Then it was time to get to the actual paper cutting, die-cutting, glueing, etc.  That’s when I realized I was out of glue.

Went to the one and only craft store here and they didn’t have it. So I ordered online.

It finally arrived on February 1.

I had hoped to have the cards ready to sell by that date but okay. I said to myself, “Myself, it’ll be ok. You’ll have the cards ready in a couple of days and then you can start selling them”.

Ha!

Doodles

Well, I was so tired and weakened yesterday that I fell asleep in the afternoon and it all happened again. The nightmares, the sleep paralysis, the hallucinations.

As a result, I refused to sleep last night.

Haven’t slept yet.

So I decided to make digital doodles instead.

Cat doodles, of course.

After all, I am a bona fide Crazy Cat Lady.

 

Impossible Musings

I recently finished a series called The Atlantis Gene. Overall, a good read. The first book was excellent. The second was good. The third drove me up the wall.

The author’s favourite word: Impossible. He has every character in the book say it every other page. By the time I got to the third book, I was ready to take said book and hit him in the head with it.

I can understand one character having a crush with a word. Hell, if you have been following me for a while, you know I have a long time affair with the word awesome. To me, everything is awesome. Good luck reading that last sentence and not getting stuck the the earworm song from the Lego movie. You’re welcome.

But most, if not all, characters in the book? Including all the aliens? Please.

All impossible means is that you don’t know how to do it.
That’s it. Or that no one has done it yet. Which effectively means you don’t know how to do it.

Every single thing humankind has done so far was impossible until someone did it. That is why we have the Guinness World Record thingy.

In fact, the best way to get something done, is to tell a nerd that it is impossible. See how long it takes them to achieve it.

So yeah. As I am sure you all have inferred by now, saying something is impossible is one of my pet peeves.

When people say impossible, what they really mean is “highly improbable”. Or “not feasible at the moment”. If you understand probability law, you know that the odds of something happening may be tiny, tiny. But there is always a chance, however small, that it will happen.

On the other hand, I suppose once could say there is always the chance, however small of something never happening. I’ll leave that one to the mathematicians. 

So, there.

Also,

 

Bucket List Musings

Facebook, the never-ending source of entertainment, showed me another one of those fun test-like thingies. 

Naturally, I was game. 

 
Then I got kinda sad although I realize that wasn’t the point.

You see, once upon a time I was convinced that by age 47, I would’ve seen most of the world. Clearly, that didn’t happen. 

Worse, traveling doesn’t even appeal to me anymore. Flying became so obnoxious, with such long lines, and all of that “take your coat, your belt, your shoes off and while we’re at it let me grope you too” security thing. Everybody is suspect. Everybody is a potential terrorist. Damn you bloody real terrorists of the world, and not just because you made travelling so inconvenient for the rest of us.

Long gone are the days when I longed to see Machu Pichu, the Altamira caves, the Valley of the Kings, the Potala, the Taj Mahal and so many other wonders with my own eyes. Health issues alone prevent me from going to places warmer than 25⁰ C, for example. Going into heat stroke is not my idea of a fun holiday, thank you very much.
I still hope I get to experience Norway, the fjords and the midnight sun on a beautiful Summer Solstice (or a crappy one, for that matter) some day. I’d die happy if I can do it. 

Visiting England, Scotland, Ireland and Germany would be nice too but not required for the happy-dying thing.

All things considered, I’ve fared well. I did some travelling and I did get to cross several of my Bucket List items. I did get to visit The Avenue of the Dead in Teotihuacán. I was at the steps of the Pyramid of the Sun but couldn’t climb it because it was a stupid hot summer day and you know, bloody heat exhaustion/strike was an issue even at 15 years old. 

Pro tip: Do NOT spend the June Solstice anywhere below the 49th parallel north! In fact, the only suitable place to be on that day, other than Norway, is Middle-Earth (also known as New Zealand).

What I did do though, was climb part of the Pyramid of the Moon and it was awesome. 

You gotta admit, that is a pretty rad thing to do at 15. 

I am sad but at the same time I am not. Sad for the missed goals and the could have beens but at the same time happy for the goals achieved and the been-there-done-thats.

Also,

 
to you all! 

And then this happened

I got a notification from WordPress yesterday 

  
Who knew I had so much to say?

Personally I think it is remarkable, especially considering I am not done with saying things after five years of blogging – despite my five-month hiatus when I first moved to Windsor. 

And then this happened:  

Randomly stopped at a comic store and ran into Groot!!!!

Star Lord and Rocket Racoon were there too with an unlikely companion   

Fun times! 

Your Monday Funny

Have a great week, everyone.

Yes, I’m 12

CSI at Casa Colombiana

My living room right HAS become Crime Central.

There are five villains – FIVE, being shamelessly and unapologetically adorable in it. I told them the Cute Police was going to come take them away but they just don’t care.

They declared themselves guilty as charged and unwilling to change their ways.

I wash my hands.

Five Fur Balls at play

Too cute

And the winner is….

Proud mama with her babies

Mama Mini Me

Gorgeous Mama Cat

PS: I you don’t hear from me in a day, send in the rescue crew. I might’ve died of Adorable Overload!

PPS: Don’t worry, I mean, yes I am a bona fide Crazy Cat Lady but I didn’t adopt them all. I am fostering them

PPPS: I accidentally inherited (story to follow soon) a feral colony that lives in my backyard. Mama cat belongs to it. We’re trapping, neutering/spaying and returning them. Four down, two more to go.

You heard it

Warning: what follows is highly politically incorrect. If you are easily offended by either religious jokes, by swearing like a sailor or both, you should stop reading here. You’ve been warned. Please don’t give me crap on the comments for my usage of foul language or my disrespect for religion. Thank you.

Yes, yes. I do have a very weird sense of humour. I also have a very special relationship with [my] god and religion(s).

What you are about to read, happened in its entirety, all via IMs. The American side of Geek Squared has given me permission to reproduce it here. This is just to show you the kind of grief he has to put up with. Bless the geek.

GeekGirl: Ha! La senza has $4 St pat’s panties. Oh sorry. St panty’s

GeekBoy: That’s funny

GeekGirl: yeah

GeekBoy: And now I’m picturing you in them – not good for my productivity

GeekGirl: hehehehe

GeekBoy: So here’s a study in contrasts. [some school’s crap. One teacher’s failure to accommodate one of the Sidlets’ special needs. Lack of sympathy for said Sidlet’s struggles. Another teacher’s outstanding and compassionate approach to it.]

GeekGirl: Oy. are they not compelled by law to give accommodations? And what does the principal have to say about that?

GeekBoy: I’m going to ask those very questions next opportunity I get/make.

GeekGirl: Be angry, though. Just like I need to be less angry and confrontational, you need to work on being more angry and confrontational. Don’t be sad for her. Be angry at those who discriminate and stigmatize her. And spit it on their faces. Also, give the [understanding, professional teacher] a hug for me

The beauty of sending them to a stupid private school is that as a parent you have A LOT MORE SAYING than at a public school. Use that to your advantage. Fuck being meek. The meek will inherit shit

um… what was that bit about me being less angry and confrontational?!! um.. er… yeah, that

GeekBoy: hahahahahahaha

GeekGirl: Anyway, didn’t Jesus himself say he hadn’t come to bring order and peace or some shit like that? Me neither. They sent me for the complete opposite [of order and peace]. Jeez. Can you imagine my judgement meeting with God?

God: Um, yeah, what the hell was up with all that quoting of my son for your shit disturbing purposes?
Claudia: Er… yeah, about that…. wasn’t it hilarious, though?
God: [quietly smiles Claudia]

Smites

SMITES

DYAC

GeekBoy: Lost my connection!

GeekGirl: Ugh. Don’t tell me you missed all my fine jokes

GeekBoy: Hopefully I’ll be there for your judgment

GeekGirl: Oh, It’ll be a riot

GeekBoy: Either to help your cause or to watch

GeekGirl: Alternate ending

[Both God and Claudia roll on the floor laughing their asses off]
GeekBoy: Hahaha

GeekGirl: Or you know, God Smites me, then he resuscitates me and say, just kidding, and then we both proceed to roll on the floor…

Holy cow, I’m on a roll today

I have to blog that shit

GeekBoy: You really are. Was just going to say that

And that my friends, is business as usual at chez Geek Squared! Poor GeekBoy.

I’ll leave you with this: Purim, of all the religious holidays, my all time favorite.

Chag Purim Sameach

PS: I know some people take their religion very seriously. I don’t mean any disrespect to them. I firmly believe that everybody is free to believe and live in whatever way makes them happy. Me, I don’t take myself seriously at all.

Well, I finally lost my marbles

Actually, I was never in possession of any marbles. I was born marbleless.

However, my friends, I consider that an asset. As other – very wise people, have pointed out:

“I am not eccentric. It’s just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of catfish.”
― Edith Sitwell

And holy cow, can I ever be unpopular sometimes. Then, there’s this one:

Of course eccentrics are happy, they’re loony toons. They don’t know they aren’t supposed to be anything but joyous.
JAN HORNUNG, This Is the Truth, as Far as I Know: I Could Be Wrong

That’s why I am a bundle of giggles most of the time. Unless I am a bundle of tears. In that case, I am not joyous. But then… oh, look! washi tape!!!! and I am back to being a bundle of giggles and squeeeeeeees again.

The Geeks’ Flat is witnessing a lot of nesting efforts lately. One the the areas with the fastest growing rate is my Art(s) [& Crafts] Nook. It started as a Drawing Nook, with sketch pads, drawing markers, colour pencils, sketch pencils, a couple of Really Useful boxes and an original TJ Lubrano*.

My little art(s) [& crafts] nook is coming along nicely. Note the super geeky and super environmentally conscious solar-powered lamp. And my Yoda bucket.