Lifestyle Changes

As the chronic pain becomes more and more prominent in my life, I’ve had to make adjustments in my life style. 

Like when I finally got an electric grinder for coffee beans a couple of years ago. I loved my mechanic one but due to wrist pain it became impractical to use. Still have it but can’t use it anymore. Now it is a conversational piece, sitting pretty on a shelf.  

This week, I caved in and got a 2in1 stick vacuum cleaner during Prime day. Apparently I scored a huge deal too, $30, tax & shipping included. We’ll see how it performs, though. Hopefully it has sufficient sucking power to do the job and it is light enough for me to handle thus reducing the pain associated with dusting and sweeping. Hopefully.

I hate having to use electric tools. They leave such a huge carbon print! So for me, it is quite aggravating having to turn to electric things because of the pain. Stupid pain.


Fast forward half a day


Well, there it is.

As a stick vacuum, it is definitely light. As a hand-held, it’s a bit on the heavy side but I think I can manage as I imagine I won’t be holding it for extended periods of time. The suction power is unexpectedly good for such a tiny thing.

I vacuumed the living area (open concept kitchen/dining/living room). It did its job and it did it well. It took care of all the dust bunnies and cat hair that had accumulated while I was away with just one sweep. 

The floor is looking quite nice but I am not as tired, overheated or in pain as I would be if I would have swept the same area to obtain the same results.

Then I decided I tried it on a small rug.

Before vacumming

After vacumming

After using the red lint thingy

That’s almost four weeks worth of cat hair. I had last cleaned it the week of my birthday. 

As you can see, the vacuum cleaner is of little help there.

But since I don’t have carpets or big area rugs, that won’t be much of a problem for me.

As for packaging – another source of aggravation- thankfully this one is not as wasteful as some I’ve seen. Most of it is cardboard, which can be recycled [yaaay]. Nonetheless there’s plastic wraps (three) that will sit on a landfill for thousands of years. If they don’t end up in the oceans and in the belly of some poor sea creature, that is.

In conclusion, the 2 in 1 vacuum cleaner does everything a broom does, but faster and with a lot less effort. Basically, it is an electric broom that can double as a [very heavy] dusting wand.

Akk things considered, it seems to be a good fit for me*.

The Night Furies however, who had never been anywhere near a vacuum cleaner, wholeheartedly disagree. They are positive the stick is the devil incarnate. 

Jay & Kaylee seem to be of the same opinion.


* Good for me, but bad for the planet. I so wish I could afford to have a self sufficient home, powered entirely with solar panels and wind turbines. 

Holy 🐄

I just wrote this blurb as a way of introducing myself to a new Facebook group. Which group matters not. 

But Holy Cow, it all sounds so preposterous when put together.

I mean, would you not think it would be impossible for any one individual to be so fucked up? 

So I laughed. Because it is ludicrous. And now I’m sharing it here so you can laugh with me too.

1. I have no filters. No, seriously. I have lost friendships over this. So please let me know if/when I cross the line. Any line. I have a hard time understanding and recognising lines.


2. Just a little bit of a background.
Things/illnesses I deal with: 
Chronic pain since age 11. Current diagnosis, fibro. 
Mental illness. PTSD and all that follows. Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, emotional lability, etc.
Progressive neurological deterioration of unknown origin. MS ruled out. No working diagnosis at the moment.
ADHD & Giftedness. Never been diagnosed with Autism, but my educated guess given my medical background is that I am in the spectrum even if highly functional.
POTS. Hypothyroidism. Dysfunctional contraregulatory hormone response. Basically, my whole hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis is broken.
Dysgraphia made worse by a TIA four years ago. Especially aggravating when taking math tests. UGH
Woman of Colour (black and native) who is light enough to almost pass as white. You’d think that would not represent a problem. But it is aggravating that [racist] people treat me nice while they are the way they are to my brothers and sisters. I carry much anger inside. Sometimes I think I’m going to spontaneously combust, so fierce it roars.
3. I have never learned how to be succinct. Don’t know how to be concise.
4. Apparently I don’t know how to count either.

There you have it.

Isn’t it hilarious in its preposterousness? 

PS: posting from phone so formating will be wonky. Sorry you have to deal with it

You win

I hate life.

There I said it.

I have spent decades finding gratefulness for what little I had. No parents? oh, who needs parents anyway, I can totally fend for myself. Pain? Oh, at least I have a roof under my head and I have food on my belly. Being told that everything is in my head? Oh at least I have my books and a great imagination. I can always escape to better worlds in my mind when nobody is looking.

I have tried to find strength and peace in the beauty of the little things. The birds coming to my balcony. My cats. Later on, when I finally made it to Canada, the falling leaves, the snow. The squirrels and chipmunks. The groundhogs. The Rideau canal. Swing Dancing.

But the truth is my life has been crap since day one. I was born extreme premature and spent the first months of my life in an incubator. The doctors told my mother not to get too attached to me because I most likely wouldn’t make it. And yet I did. I am pretty sure some god(s) with a lot of time in their hands and a very twisted and sick sense of humour had something to do with that. Perhaps they even made bets on how long I was going to last after all the things they had in store for me.

I spent my the first two years of my life in and out of the hospital and after that in an out of the pediatrician’s office with recurrent ear and throat infections which are the cause of my bilateral hearing loss.

I had no friends, as it is so common for children from very dysfunctional family environments.

Nonetheless, I puttered along. Hating every minute of it. Continue reading

No going out for me today

I got woken up by the pain today. That doesn’t happen very often as I am quite used to pain by now.

The cartilages of most of my ribs where they join the Sternum (costal cartilages) are tender at best and downright inflamed and painful at worst. It is a condition known as Costochondritis.

Today is one of those “at worst” days. I can feel the lumps, especially on my left side.

Costochondritis. © Mayo Clinic Foundation

In the image above, blue means normal cartilage. Red, means inflamed cartilage.

I guess that means I ain’t going anywhere today. No way I can wear a bra in this condition.

Oh well. It is too hot to go outside, anyway. Maybe I’ll try to do some drawing today. My sketch pad must be feeling very lonely.

It’s Monday again

Which for me, means nothing.  Every day is a Saturday for me.

I love my job.  I can sleep in every day which is very important for me.

You see, ever since I was very little (since I was born, according to the stories from grandma) I’ve been a night owl.  I suspect I have a mutation on one of the genes that control the Circadian clock, most likely the Tim (Timeless) gene because day light (or light of any kind) does not wake me up.  And I also suspect this mutation is hereditary as both my children are night owls as well as my sister.  We simply cannot wake up early in the morning.  We simply cannot go to bed at regular hours.

So both my daughter and I have perfect jobs.  We go to bed around 2 -3 am and wake up around 11 am- noon.  Absolutely perfect.

Anyway, hope you guys had a great weekend.

Mine was pretty good.

On Saturday, I went shopping with my daughter in the afternoon.

I got a wet shirt (like a wet suit but just the shirt) with SPF 50.  Water shoes -they called them aqua socks. Last year my feet were very sore from walking barefoot.  The concrete gets very hot and it actually burns your feet while your walking from one slide to the other.  I was NOT gonna let that happen this time around.  Those shoes feel like a sock actually.  Best $8 I’ve ever spent.  I also got a good pair on sunglasses -albeit very cheap cause they were on sale, so I wouldn’t be heart broken if I lost them.

Unfortunately, the shopping spree took a bit longer than I thought, and I was worried cause I was very tired by the time I got to the studio.

I had figured I’d take a nap between shopping and deejaying and I’d be OK.  When I got home at 8:55, I realized I was deejaying at 9:30 pm and NOT at 11 pm like I had previously thought.  So, I had to forget about the nap, quickly change and run to the studio instead.

In spite of being so tired, the set went very well. I was happy with it and people seemed to like it too cause I got a lot of compliments on it.  I got home at 1:30 am and crashed immediately.

On Sunday, I didn’t want to get up when the alarm went off but then I remembered what the day had to offer and I got up with a smile on my face.

We started the day with a yoga class at the studio.  SO good!  Best way to start a day. Continue reading



Sometimes, I hate my body.

Sometimes, I feel cheated.

Sometimes, I think it’s really cruel to give someone SO much passion for life and then give them such a crappy, fragile, easily-breakable, sick body.

I’m thinking about this old joke about Colombia.  It goes like this:

God is making the plans for the creation.  St Peter is sitting in front of him, notepad and pen in hand, taking notes.   God says: OK, Colombia… hmmm, give them two oceans.  Give them all climate zones.  Give them a great diversity of fauna & flora. Give them a great variety of cattle, grains and anything edible. Give them oodles of gold & emeralds. Give them the best coffee in the world.  Give them… At this point, St Peter – a bit concerned, interjects, but Lord, isn’t that too much for one single country?

Continue reading