You heard it

Warning: what follows is highly politically incorrect. If you are easily offended by either religious jokes, by swearing like a sailor or both, you should stop reading here. You’ve been warned. Please don’t give me crap on the comments for my usage of foul language or my disrespect for religion. Thank you.

Yes, yes. I do have a very weird sense of humour. I also have a very special relationship with [my] god and religion(s).

What you are about to read, happened in its entirety, all via IMs. The American side of Geek Squared has given me permission to reproduce it here. This is just to show you the kind of grief he has to put up with. Bless the geek.

GeekGirl: Ha! La senza has $4 St pat’s panties. Oh sorry. St panty’s

GeekBoy: That’s funny

GeekGirl: yeah

GeekBoy: And now I’m picturing you in them – not good for my productivity

GeekGirl: hehehehe

GeekBoy: So here’s a study in contrasts. [some school’s crap. One teacher’s failure to accommodate one of the Sidlets’ special needs. Lack of sympathy for said Sidlet’s struggles. Another teacher’s outstanding and compassionate approach to it.]

GeekGirl: Oy. are they not compelled by law to give accommodations? And what does the principal have to say about that?

GeekBoy: I’m going to ask those very questions next opportunity I get/make.

GeekGirl: Be angry, though. Just like I need to be less angry and confrontational, you need to work on being more angry and confrontational. Don’t be sad for her. Be angry at those who discriminate and stigmatize her. And spit it on their faces. Also, give the [understanding, professional teacher] a hug for me

The beauty of sending them to a stupid private school is that as a parent you have A LOT MORE SAYING than at a public school. Use that to your advantage. Fuck being meek. The meek will inherit shit

um… what was that bit about me being less angry and confrontational?!! um.. er… yeah, that

GeekBoy: hahahahahahaha

GeekGirl: Anyway, didn’t Jesus himself say he hadn’t come to bring order and peace or some shit like that? Me neither. They sent me for the complete opposite [of order and peace]. Jeez. Can you imagine my judgement meeting with God?

God: Um, yeah, what the hell was up with all that quoting of my son for your shit disturbing purposes?
Claudia: Er… yeah, about that…. wasn’t it hilarious, though?
God: [quietly smiles Claudia]

Smites

SMITES

DYAC

GeekBoy: Lost my connection!

GeekGirl: Ugh. Don’t tell me you missed all my fine jokes

GeekBoy: Hopefully I’ll be there for your judgment

GeekGirl: Oh, It’ll be a riot

GeekBoy: Either to help your cause or to watch

GeekGirl: Alternate ending

[Both God and Claudia roll on the floor laughing their asses off]
GeekBoy: Hahaha

GeekGirl: Or you know, God Smites me, then he resuscitates me and say, just kidding, and then we both proceed to roll on the floor…

Holy cow, I’m on a roll today

I have to blog that shit

GeekBoy: You really are. Was just going to say that

And that my friends, is business as usual at chez Geek Squared! Poor GeekBoy.

I’ll leave you with this: Purim, of all the religious holidays, my all time favorite.

Chag Purim Sameach

Chag Purim Sameach

PS: I know some people take their religion very seriously. I don’t mean any disrespect to them. I firmly believe that everybody is free to believe and live in whatever way makes them happy. Me, I don’t take myself seriously at all.

S***t my kids used to say

I was tempted to call this post “Shit my kids used to say” but then I thought it is already overdone.  So I’m not doing that.*

But man, how I wish blogging had existed back in the day when my kids were little.  Or smartphones with built-in videocams for that matter.  But they didn’t.  Sadly, I’m starting to forget.  And that IS a shame.

But here’s one that I would never forget.

It happened like this.  We were on our way back home after a pediatrician appointment.  The kids must’ve been three and four.  We were in a taxi, all four of us.  Me, their dad, and the two kids.

They just had had a shot (don’t ask me which one) and we had explained to them why it was so important they got those shots even though they hurt a little.  Their health was very important to us and we didn’t want them to get sick later on.  They asked about all the various vaccines and diseases (with both parents being doctors, this kind of conversation was very normal for us) and then all of a sudden N pauses for a second then proceeds to say very loudly and proudly:

Continue reading