Oh, hello there

I’m alive. I’m well. Like, really well.

I was not for the longest time. But I am now.

I have a lot to say but every time I try, it all comes like water from a dam when the dam wall collapse at once.

So for the time being, I’ll leave you with something I made for Bell’s Lets Talk Day two days ago:



It’s an UGH kind of day


[you have to wonder when a post starts with “ugh”]

I had an appointment at 11 am today with my caseworker.

Lat night, before going to bed, I checked the public transport travel planner for route timetables. One can choose among several options, including least walking and least transfers.  The least transfer option included about 15 minutes of walking so I went with the least walking one, even though that meant one bus transfer. Once I chose that route, I went for the option that would take me there at 1o:40 instead of 11:00. Just in cases*.

With that info, I set my alarm, and went to sleep.

Got up this morning, had breakfast, took a shower. Only that once I was IN the shower, I realized I was still wearing underwear. Nice.

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It comes out of nowhere

My latest post on Canvas.

I’ll add a note here saying that this message is not a rant against social networks in general or Facebook in particular. It seems like the sole mention of FB is enough to generate strong anti-FB feelings. Not my intention. I don’t have any beef again FB. I very much appreciate that it allows me to be in touch with my family in Colombia and my friends all over the world (Turkey, France, Spain, USA, Argentina, Italy, etc). In fact, I would even dare to say I like FB.

As for some FB statuses being the proverbial straw, that was just a fluke. It could have been personal comment (yeah, in real life) which I often get as well.

Join the conversation

Let's talk

if don’t, I’ll be contributing to the stigma


For every long-distance call and text message made by a Bell customer, for every share of our Bell Let’s Talk image on Facebook and for every tweet using the official #BellLetsTalk hashtag, Bell will donate 5¢ toward mental health initiatives. Participation is easy and every little bit helps!

I’ve been talking all day on Facebook and Twitter. And I am not the only one.

People are talking

This are the numbers so far. People are talking


Join the conversation!

Mental Illness Awareness Week

Did you know that it was Mental Illness Awareness Week this week? sadly, I only found out about it yesterday.

I think this is very sad indeed because if I, a person who is very much aware of mental illness and has become rather vocal about it in all the social networks didn’t know about it, what chance has a regular Joe of hearing about it? Clearly, we need to do more to raise awareness.

Also, did you know that most people believe that mental disorders are rare and “happen to someone else.”?

However, an estimated 54 million Americans suffer from some form of mental disorder in a given year (I’ll try and get the Canadian numbers later). Here’s a very helpful article on how to recognize the warning signs from Mental Health America According to MIAW Canada, people who struggle with a mental disorder often go through life without reaching out for help: They simply don’t know what’s wrong and feel they are just “different;” they feel they can beat it on their own; they are ashamed and try to hide their symptoms; exasperated family and friends tell them to “get over it;” or they reach out for help but their first experience leaves them feeling disregarded and misunderstood.

Mental Awareness week is over today.  Nonetheless, I’m asking you to please take a moment to read and share this.

Help create Mental Illness awareness!


Mental Illness Awareness Week Canada  (MIAW) @MIAWCanada

Canadian Alliance on Mental Illness and Mental Health (CAMIMH)

Health Canada 

Royal Mental Health Group Mood Disorders of Ontario

I wish I had cancer

Yeah, you heard it right.

I know that I’m gonna get a lot of angry cancer patients on my case, thinking I’m mocking them.  However, I am not.

While I’ve had been thinking of it it for quite a while, only until very recently I finally said it to someone other than myself, on a DM.

And I stand by it.

You see, I have an illness.  But it’s a mental one.  I look good on the outside.  I haven’t lost ridiculous amounts of weight.  I still have all my hair. I have a good colour.  I don’t look like I’m ready to take my boat ride across the River Styx. Only that I am.  And I’ve been there several times.

But Mental illnesses don’t get the sympathy or empathy from society that cancer does.  Or Cystic Fibrosis.  Or Muscular Dystrophy.  Or any other of those “legitimate” illnesses.

People like me are mostly regarded as moody individuals.  An annoyance, most of the time.  Someone normal people need to stay away from because we are Debby Downers.  Oh, it’s all in your head, I’ve been told many times.  Or, you just have to count your blessings instead of focusing on your limitations.  And sure, I’m all for counting my blessings.  I’m very grateful that I don’t have to sleep on the street, that I’m not starving.  That I am not being gang-raped, or tortured or enslaved.  I’m also grateful for friends and the love they give me.

But the truth is that even if I we do the right thing and reach out when we have our lows, it becomes harder and harder to do as time goes by. Sure, friends and loved ones (spouses, children, etc) will try and help the first time they hear about it.  And the second time. And the third time.  And maybe even the fourth and fifth.  But after a while, they do get tired.  And that’s normal.  They are only human too.  And so, we become a burden.  Because Mental Illnesses are hard to treat.  The prognosis is gloomy for the most part.  According to the Royal Mental Hospital Depression Research Centre (depression is what I have but it might as well be schizophrenia or any other mental illness),“Many people diagnosed with a major depression will fail to respond adequately to two medications of different classes and about 60 per cent will have a treatment resistant depression.”  60 PERCENT! And unless we commit suicide (gasp! yeah, I said. Because a lot of us actually do) we live a normally long life just like any other person free of any lethal disease.  So we become this pain in the ass, gloomy, cranky, grumpy, sad people that no one likes to be around.  Even those who love us, have a hard time 1. dealing with us at a personal level, and 2. dealing with their own coping problems associated with loving a person with a mental illness.

And those are the lucky ones who’s friends and family care enough to help them.  But there’s still a lot of stigma associated with mental illnesses.  Even as I write this blog post, I can hear a very scared little voice at the back of my mind telling that I’m insane for talking in public about it.  What are they gonna thing about you? it says.  People don’t like to be friends with crazy people.  Also, people DON’T HIRE crazy people.  So won’t you keep it quiet? it’s for your own good, you know.

So, I wish I had cancer.  At least there wouldn’t any kind of stigma associated with it.  And – like I said to my friend, if I’m lucky enough, cancer would kill me really fast so I wouldn’t have to go on living in so much pain.