Or the adventures of the Summer Solstice Girl in the Great White North

What is loneliness, really?

You can be surrounded
by hundreds in the city
and still feel all alone.

By yourself be and yet
a sweet memory sustains you
When everyone is gone.

What defines that odd space
so empty yet so heavy
in the proverbial middle
of your being, of your soul?

What is the ellusive nature
of the hungry black hole
threatening to swallow
the very light of your core?

Quantum physics be damned!
One day you feel connected.
The next you are so lost.

The figments of my essence
of fickle fibers, they are made.
To have them be permanent
I haven’t found a way.

Yes, of them I am a puppet
forever I must run.

There and back; forever struggling,
to find and patch the gaps.

Perhaps one day, perhaps,
I will remain connected
I will remain attached.

And loneliness will be
but a thing of the past.

I want my money back


I hate to be the one who ruins the party because truly for a good number of people thinking back to their childhood is a good thing. 

So I apologize. Especially if you are American. Don’t mind me. Have a good thanksgiving instead. 

But for me, there’s really no break. It’d be so nice to be able to close my eyes and think of when I was 12 and smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. If you have that, treasure it. 
But I had a good reason for hardly being able to wait to be older. Rather, a number of good reasons: Screams, nasty insults, tears, blood are but a few that come to mind.

A terrible thing not to have a time in your life you can look back at and feel safe and at peace.

Yeah, good times 

Musing #1957430

I was once told I use my lack of filters as Carte Blanche to say mean things, though. Which I think not true, as I don’t think I have a mean bone in my body. 

But what if this is one of those cases where I am the one needing the band-aid?

My first Comic Convention

Last weekend, Sid  The 11th Doctor and I attended the [first ever] Windsor ComiCon.

Incidentally, it was also my first ever con. Sid’s  11’s  too. We both were Comic Con virgins.

So it was all kind of fitting.

I was volunteering so we arrived nice and early on Saturday, hours before the doors opened. There was a big line already and either our costumes were really good or people were not very familiar with cosplay cause we got a lot of stares. I remember thinking at that point “I hope a lot more people come in character cause that’s where the fun is”.

I reported – or rather tried to, but nobody seemed to know where to direct me. After a good ten minutes of walking around asking people with ComiCon Organizer badges, we finally found someone who knew where the volunteer coordinator was.

I was assigned to the Artist Alley [score!] and at that point it occurred to me to ask if they had a need for more volunteers. Apparently something went wrong with the system and their volunteers never got their shifts so the volunteer coordinator was happy to get an extra helping hand. We got a mini info session on the spot and off we went to our posts to wait for the doors to open and the crowds of geeks and nerds to come in.

They didn’t disappoint.

There were a good number of seriously awesome cosplays, of which I have ZERO pictures because my stupid phone kept dying on me. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

I need an extra charger for my next con.

11 on volunteer duty

Unsuspecting 11 ended up on volunteer duty

Continue reading



Clothes & bedding soaking wet.


Hypnagogic state.

Softly weeping,

body shakes.

Quiet whimpering.

Will it ever end?


All in a day

Yesterday was one of those days.  

Well, to tell you the truth, it started with the day before yesterday. 

I went to the Humane Society to see two found tabbies that could potentially be Satchie. 

No dice. 

One wasn’t… the other one had already been euthanized. 

Came home and cried a fair bit. Of course. 

Then yesterday another tabby showed up on the HS’s website. And by George, she looked like my darling tornado!

Well friends, it wasn’t Satchie.

So close, though. She was very affectionate and looked so much like Satchie I had a hard time convincing myself that it wasn’t even after all the evidence. 

We spent some 40 minutes trying to figure out if she was or not. The technician was very understanding and even called a more experienced one to handle the kitty so at least we could see if it was a boy or a girl cause the info wasn’t in the chart . It was indeed a girl! Heart thumping hard!

She had the same soft fur, very similar markings, and she was so comfortable with me it was easy to pretend she was the little pest. 

In the end, and thanks to the million pictures of Satchie I have in my phone, we were able to see that this sweet girl has some circular markings on the left side of her face that Satchie doesn’t have.

She is also more on the brown side while Satchie’s coat on the back and legs is more on the silver side. 

I wanted her to be Satchie so much it was like I was willing her to be. 

Alas, it was not to be.

Now I fear for that sweet girl. It looks like her tail is broken. I hope she is deemed adoptable because she has so much love to give. It’d be a shame if she ends up being euthanized. 

At this point I was trying hard to hold the tears back as I sill had some business to do at the shelter. I went back to the other side to pick up this little beauty

Her name is Munchkin and I’ll be fostering her for the next few weeks. She is 8-9 weeks old and on antibiotics for an upper respiratory infection so I have to be careful to protect Jay and miss Kaylee. 

Munchkin is absolutely adorable and very brave too. She purred all the way home, perched on my shoulder.

She’s faring quite well, though. Eating well, drinking plenty of water and using the litterbox just fine. 

I told her she was NOT allowed to steal my heart! 

But this is how we woke up this morning  

How am I supposed to deal with THAT??!!! 

So the day ended up on a high note. The was some crying still but a lots of smiling and even some laughing at little Munchkin’s antics. 

Now if you excuse me, I have to go cause she’s currently trying to nurse from my right earlobe…




Karma is a strange concept. 

It is kinda nice to think that if we are wronged, karma will come around and bring some shitty luck to the wrong-doers. 

Kinda. But not really. 

In the heat of the moment, it may be of some weird, twisted comfort to think that. But I don’t think most people are truly comfortable wishing bad things to other people… I know I  am not. 

Oh, I know I say all the time that I wish terrible things upon animal abusers. Or children/women/the vulnerable  abusers. 

But in reality, I don’t. 

So when I hear things like “don’t worry, what goes around, comes around” or “Karma will take care of them”, I am unsure of it being a good thing. 

Besides, if karma truly is a thing, what terrible deeds did I commit when I was a child? 

I mean, it has to work both ways, right? Cause why should it affect others but not affect us?

So I am inclined to think that the Karma notion is just a big heap of horse shit. 

Because that means I have to have been a real asshole at some point in my life and I don’t have any memories of such thing. 

On the other hand, does an asshole know they’re an asshole? 

Something to ponder about … 


And then this happened

I got a notification from WordPress yesterday 

Who knew I had so much to say?

Personally I think it is remarkable, especially considering I am not done with saying things after five years of blogging – despite my five-month hiatus when I first moved to Windsor. 

And then this happened:  

Randomly stopped at a comic store and ran into Groot!!!!

Star Lord and Rocket Racoon were there too with an unlikely companion   

Fun times! 

Morning Trek

It is ten after eight on Friday morning and we just got in the car*. I’m feeling very proud of myself because I almost forgot my walking stick but I remembered it just as I was heading to the door.

Wait! I say to Sid.

I forgot my combadge. We can’t go on a trek without the combadge. What if we need to be beamed up? Besides, I forgot my water bottle too.

You know, just your regular trying to get out of the house with ADHD me.

So Sid asks where the combadge is and gets out of the car to go get it, along with the water bottle.

I’m sitting in the car when I remember something else so I get out, leave the car running and unattended and rush inside. Continue reading

On the news today

This is probably going to be the mother of all my politically incorrect posts.

And I’ve had my share of those.

Warning: If you are white and tend to get defensive when you see the #BlackLivesMatter hashtag and/or immediately change it to #AllLivesMattter, then I recommend you stop reading right now…. or head over to @Smartassatheist to read what he has to say. Perhaps by doing this you’ll finally understand that the movement is not about blaming white people as a whole but instead about bringing down white supremacy and white privilege.


Are we cool? Awesome.

Let’s proceed, then. Continue reading


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