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Forgive me my friends, this is not a happy post.

I’m so tired! 

It’s been building up for quite a while now

It’s not just that I’m down or sad. In fact, I received GREAT news today and that made me very happy. But I also got stressful news. News that might affect my living conditions, even.

The stress is wearing me out.

Everything takes so much effort.  My mind is very foggy and it’s hard to think. My body is fatigued and achy.

Even dancing, which brings me so much joy, also makes things more difficult in the end. I have always said that I rather dance and be  in pain than not dance and be sad. And I still stand by it. Dancing makes me more tired and sore but at least puts a smile on my face.  However the fatigue is getting to that point where it is too much for me to handle.

These are the times when I feel like I can’t take it anymore.

I don’t feel I have the psychological strength to fight the disability board, for example. It’s so difficult. No psychiatrist in town wants to take my case because it is too difficult. I have a wonderful therapist but he’s not a psychiatrist. He’s a family doctor with training in psychotherapy so even though he’s willing, he can’t bring my case to the board.

I’m so tired. If only I could go to sleep and never wake up….

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10 thoughts on “[ ]

  1. sandee says:

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. My heart goes out to you. This song is beautiful but I can see why you would relate to the melancholic tone at this time. I’m hoping things look up for you soon… Ah life… It can be so difficult to trudge through at times.

  2. Kelsi says:

    I know that tired feeling all too well. I’veeven used the word weary lately. I’m exhausted all around. I wish I had comforting words, but I’m even struggling to believe those that are told to me. Though I offer hugs and hopefully “this too shall pass.” I hope you get strength and that things work out for you.

  3. TJLubrano says:

    Claudia, my lady, do hang in there. Find the strength in the words of the ones who love you and who are there for you. Collect all the bits of happiness that you get from doing what you love to do. It may not seem much, but it will count in the end. I wish I could do more than sending my words and virtual hug. xoxo!

  4. Sid Dunnebacke says:

    I can’t let this go any longer, SSG. That song! That song is too, too sad to sit by and let it become real. Take to heart what I say: Take strength from those who love you. Or, rather, let them be strong on your behalf. Ask for help, for whatever you need. It’s ok to let someone else be strong, to be strong for you, because those people will do it – happily. Even from afar.

    There IS hope, and it can sustain you if you allow it. There is hope for days of comfort and nights free of nightmares. Find that hope, and don’t let go. Be tired, but don’t let that hope slip out of your grasp. And take care of yourself.

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