*WARNING: I’m pissed. There will be a lot of swearing here. Consider yourself warned.
[In fact, I tell my brain all the time but the fucking bastard never listens]
- Yes, I know my whole childhood consisted of waking up to horrible screams, lots of blood and trips to the hospital
- Yes, my mother was murdered. By my father. Do you really think I would fucking forget something like that?
- Yes, seeing your mother’s blood covering the couch and the living room is an awful sight
- Yes, I know I am very traumatized by that
- No, seeing my father murdered (also shot in the head) years later didn’t help a bit
But! Must you fucking remind me every fucking night of my life?
It is really not cool to wake up every other hour -all covered in sweat and sometimes even screaming, only to fall back asleep and start the same bullshit all over again.
It is really not cool to be all tired the next day.
Do you think this is a kind of exercise, either of the mind or the body? Cause I am not losing any weight (in fact I’m putting weight on) even though all my muscles are sore. And CLEARLY it is not working cause at 43, you are still torturing me with this god-awful nightmares.
And while we’re on the subject, what the fuck are you trying to accomplish with that sleep paralysis? Is this some sort of a very sick joke?
Cause really, I don’t see the point on having me experience all this hallucinations and to make it even more interesting (you sick bastard) you paralyze me so I can’t ask for help.
FUCK OFF, BRAIN. FUCK OFF.
You’re strategy is worth shit.